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mayday

Are there or or relating to service industry employees who are unable to return to former jobs due to symptoms? I'm wondering how those of us who were living paycheck to paycheck on our feet full time in busy kitchens (for example, bc that was me) are faring having to navigate job boards and benefits labyrinths through brain fog, fatigue, migraines and other symptoms while fielding unhelpful advice from people who think we are faking it.

I don't mean to complain constantly about how things are because they wouldn't be so bad if we could talk about our weird nerdy interests and make art, but pressure from family I see only in the rare moments when I feel okay is intense, and when I need backup and solidarity I get interrogated and told what I need to fix in my life.

I want to be able to enjoy my time with family and friends because I don't know if I'll recover or die from this, but they stress me out so much because they get wound up if the weeds are high or some bullshit. I wish I had the energy to look for a career change, apply for every grant possible, make little dolls and paintings, mow the grass, visit my daughters and granddaughter and parents, plan for my son's graduation, take the community cats to the vet, apply for all the programs ...

... and I try, I keep things tidy, manage the household, push through the fog and vertigo to listen to my son talk about his senior year activities, try to locate my older son who is hard to pin down, do a little outdoor project a day to feel the sun. I want to heal. I don't want my small but exhausting efforts to be thrown in my face as proof that I can go back to 40-60 hour workweeks on my feet.