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I like where this is going. There are so many messed up versions of this and a couple of other paintings underneath this layer, but I see what I want to do now.

I just saw a little raccoon on the porch, eating the community cat, possum, raccoon, and grackle food, and it was so cute I got tears in my eyes. Didn't let me scratch their belly or anything, we just tilted our heads at each other and then they just f'ed off to eat the neighbor's dog's food.

Also, today the porch kitty had two little tux kittens in my pizza oven and I don't know how to feel about that.

The TNR volunteer and I communicate regularly now bc a side effect of pandemic closures was a huge kitten boom, so I emailed her about the blessed event. The mom eluded the traps so many times last year. One of her older kittens is at the vet right now, and due to return in the morning.

The strong wind blew my pop-up greenhouse over the fence into my back neighbor's yard last night.There weren't any plants, just a warming area I set up for local cats during the last freeze and my bbq grill.

I thought it was wrecked, but quickly repaired it with bamboo stakes and some cords we accumulated from ancient dismantled electronics. I swear there is twine in this house but it always disappears when there's a twine emergency. Still, glad to find a use for the crappy old cords.

I'd like to put plants in it again though -- the setup was really cute a couple of years ago before the huge polar vortex killed and broke most of everything in it. My health took a huge dive after that and I quit planning gardens and planting seeds. I couldn't maintain anything.

Who was that person who did things? Today I was able to repair a very lightweight structure and clean up an unexpected but not awful mess, and I feel like a champ for accomplishing a thing, but lately when I do something like it kills me for days, and this will too, probably.

During the storm I felt compelled to clean and re-arrange a room that exhausted me just looking at it. Totally forgot I did that until I saw it this morning, like "oh yeah, I did something productive yesterday! A+!"

I think where I am with long covid, since my appointments are far from each other and my daily symptoms are apparently decided by spinning the wheel of tortiure, is to just do what I can until it kills me.

Like, if I need to rest, okay, but if I see shit that needs to be done, or think of some cool thing I want to do, I will figure out a way. Otherwise I'll just consume media I barely comprehend or that I don't really pay attention to until my brain leaks out of my head between budgeting, doing paperwork, and researching my condition.

I miss fun. I am no fun anymore. I need to turn the persistent migraines, fatigue, vertigo, and pain into persistent-migraine-fatigue-vertigo-pain-onaide somehow.

I worry that I'll die with all my paintings half done. Maybe that sounds like I'm being dramatic, but trust me, it is motivating.

I wiped more paint from canvases than I applied. I'm so grateful to have that option. The above one is resting so I decided to completely f*ck up a different painting for a week, but I gave up and wiped it all off with an oily rag. So relieved that it worked. I could paint on it now, maybe? Wrangling paint is hard.

Also, it's this painting, and it looks different now. The clean-up went to a later version with more flowers, and I don't have a picture.

mayday

This one is more current. I scrubbed a huge layer of misplaced paint off to bring this back. I made some adjustments since but this is close to where the painting is.

here it is a couple of days ago.